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  1. Preparing for a wedding can be overwhelming for some couples. It requires time, careful planning, attention to detail, organization, and execution. If you already have a busy lifestyle, you may find it particularly challenging and even stressful at times. For some, a wedding planner is the best solution. Wedding planners are equipped with the special expertise necessary to ensure you stay within budget and on target. Essentially, they help with all the important details of the wedding planning process.

    While some couples find this process to be an exciting prelude to their wedding day, not everyone is cut out to handle this complex task on their own. Consider your personality, your strengths, and also the things you find challenging. Here are a few questions to ask yourselves:

    • Are you detail oriented?
    • Are you a multitasker?
    • Are you organized?
    • Are you decisive?
    • Do you have solid negotiation skills?
    • Do you have experience with contractual agreements?
    • Do you have instant rapport with others?
    • Can you perform math calculations in your head?
    • Do you have a flexible schedule?
    • Do you have the resources to find the best vendors and venues for your wedding? In other words, do you have the necessary connections?
    • Are you familiar with the timeline requirements and deadlines for each step of the wedding planning process?
    • Are you budget minded?
    • Are you able to deal with a last minute crisis with a cool head?

    An experienced wedding planner can answer "yes" to all of these questions. So you now have one more question to ask yourself. If you choose to plan your own wedding, would all of these details spoil your enjoyment of your own wedding? Before you answer that, please keep in mind that the planning process may be over a timeframe of 12 to 16 months, which is the typical timeframe between the engagement and the wedding day.

    The purpose here is not to discourage you from planning your own wedding. I've worked with several couples who embraced the challenge and thoroughly enjoyed the journey together. Only you can determine which choice is in your best interest.

    Case in point: A friend of mine had set a wedding date for 2 years after the engagement, because they wanted a very specific date. Since they had so much lead time, she actually chose to take a correspondence course in event planning, which cost her around $400. (Please note that, although she took a recognized course, most event planners have substantially more training and, subsequently, much higher tuition fees.) She then took every opportunity to plan, or assist in planning, as many events as possible during that first year. She was involved in planning birthday parties, a wedding, an anniversary, and a few fundraisers. At the end of the first year, she had made valuable connections, gained experience, she was confident in her ability to plan her own wedding and, speaking as one of the guests in attendance, it was outstanding. Although she has no plans to pursue a career as a wedding planner, she continues to utilize and build on her knowledge and experience to assist in planning fundraisers and community events.

    Obviously, we aren't all going to run out and take a course in event planning, so let's further explore what a professional wedding planner has to offer. Simply put, a professional wedding planner is an expert in their field. They are calm, level headed, discerning, personable, and knowledgeable. They can help with design, budget, etiquette, venues, vendors, photographers, caterers, legal, and much, much more. Essentially, they will be the glue that holds it all together.

    How much does a wedding planner cost?  Since wedding planners provide a very specialized, one on one service, acquiring their services can cost in the thousands of dollars. While you will definitely get good returns on this investment, you can lower this cost by taking on some of the planning process yourselves and hiring a wedding planner to handle the balance. For example, you may choose to make your own arrangements for fittings, invitations, favors, etc., while leaving some of the more complex projects for the wedding planner.

    No matter which option you choose, communication is the key. This is true whether you are planning your own wedding or whether you are enlisting the services of a wedding planner. Everyone's tastes, traditions, and budgets are different. If you can express your wishes clearly, you can achieve wonderful results.

    Before you even think of discussing anything with a wedding planner or a vendor, sit down as a couple and make a list. My preference would be to start with the budget. One of the biggest challenges, for most couples today, revolves around finances. If one of you is more budget minded than the other, don't stress over it. Many people make the false assumption that you have to have a huge budget, in order to have a beautiful wedding. Discuss the budget and, should there be a difference of opinion, reach a compromise. For example, perhaps the ultimate goal is not to spend all of your savings on an extravagant wedding; but to keep some money stashed away for a fabulous honeymoon or a down payment on a home.

    Next would be to make up a list of your likes, dislikes, and some pertinent personal details. Include hobbies, activities, colors, flowers, allergies, culture, music, and anything else that's important to you. Even if you're planning your own wedding, it helps to put things down on paper. Go one step further and paint a visual picture by including photos of the items on the list and perhaps pick up some paint chips of your favorite colors. Things have a tendency to come into focus, when you take the time to do this, which will save you time and money, in the long run.

    Still not sure if you need or want a wedding planner? The best way to find out is to schedule meetings with three wedding planners. If you can get a referral or recommendation from another couple, that's even better. I would also recommend that you turn to The Association of Bridal Consultants for your research.  Take your list and photos with you so that the wedding planner has an overview, and you will then learn more about the services they offer and the planning process or stages. Both during and after each meeting, make notes. Are you comfortable with them? Can they work within your budget? Request both references and quotes from each wedding planner you meet with, review your notes, and arrive at your decision.

    The best wedding planners are professionals, who are experienced at working with all types of wedding vendors. Based on the budget and list of personal tastes you provide them with, they will make recommendations for caterers, venues, photographers, or any professional wedding service you may need. Their knowledge and expertise will help you to make informed decisions. Here is a partial list of some of the important tasks a wedding planner would assist you with:

    • Thoroughly review and evaluate vendor contracts and make recommendations for clarification, where needed, before signing them.
    • Make recommendations for venues, dress fittings, officiates, florists, caterers, entertainment, favors, centerpieces, etc.
    • Organize the wedding rehearsal and the wedding rehearsal dinner and be in attendance for both
    • Support you and provide solutions, should something unexpected occur.
    • Finalize the wedding program, invitations, rsvp, seating plan, etc.

    Whether you decide to plan your own wedding, consult a wedding planner for the most critical details, or hire a wedding planner to plan your entire wedding, please keep this in mind...

    Your wedding day is a celebration to be enjoyed by both you and your guests. You want to look back on it with fond memories. That's priceless.

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    Related Links:

    Wedding Planning Resource Links

    Wedding Day Survival Kit

    Your Backyard Wedding

    Christmas Weddings

    Wedding Guest Favors

    Do It Yourself Favors

  2. A supportive wedding party is a major contributor to the success of your wedding celebration.  Unfortunately, many people no longer fully understand their responsibilities as bridesmaids and groomsmen.  Their contribution to the wedding extends far beyond posing for pictures and holding the bouquet or the rings during the ceremony and certainly beyond hosting bridal showers and bachelor parties.  These are the people to whom you turn to handle those little details that may take away from the enjoyment of your special day.  

    While there are plenty of resources for traditional roles of the wedding party, I'd like to share some ideas for additional duties for your bridesmaids and groomsmen.  This will then free you up to work on more important details.

    One person in the wedding party should know where the other members of the wedding party are at all times.  That way, when it is time for a toast, a dance, a photo shoot, garter toss, bouquet toss, games, etc., the group can be gathered quickly.  It would be helpful for everyone in the wedding party to be aware of the scheduled time for these events, so that their absence could be avoided; but as extra insurance, ensure that you have a designated person to keep tabs on the wedding party.  There is nothing more frustrating than to announce that something is about to happen, only to have things put on hold while everyone waits for that one person. 

    The most outgoing member(s) of the wedding party should logically be chosen to keep things lively.  In other words, they would be encouraging others to participate in a game, leading others onto the dance floor, etc.  This works well as a team effort, so you might want to assign both a bridesmaid and a groomsman to lead the festivities.  

    With so many things going on, it can be easy for someone from the wedding party to forget to grab their coat, keys, purse, wallet, camera, etc.  Assign someone from the wedding party to "sweep the area" after the ceremony, reception, and dance, to ensure nothing has been left behind.

    You can never be prepared for everything; but, if you're armed with a wedding day survival kit, you've got a much better chance at beating the odds.  Logically, the task of carrying the bride's survival kit falls on the shoulders of the maid of honor.  The survival kit will contain things like bobby pins, sewing kit, and floss...anything to get you through the day. 

    If someone were to ask me to choose my favorite task of all, this would be the one.  Actually, let's not even call it a task.  Let's call it a privilege.  I personally love seeing children have fun at a wedding.  In fact, when my eldest sister wed, I was only about three years old.  While I don't recall quite that far back, I'm told that I danced every dance and had a marvelous time!  It can be difficult to curb youthful enthusiasm and, while the parents should be close at hand, you may want to assign someone to lead the children off the dance floor, when the focus needs to be on the bride and groom for the first dance.  If you have a flower girl and ring bearer, you could even enlist their help.    

    Finally, while I'm not convinced that this should fall under the duties of a wedding party member, I do recognize the need for a designated driver.  Before assigning this to someone from the wedding party, do please consider that these people will likely want to let their hair down and enjoy themselves at some point.  I would first recommend making other arrangements for taxis or drivers.  On the other hand, if someone from the wedding party doesn't normally partake in spirits, you may want to ask them to be the designated driver.  Either way, a sober driver is a necessity. 

    These roles can hardly be considered traditional, they are most certainly helpful.  They help things go more smoothly and ultimately free you up to enjoy your wedding celebration.  It is your day.  Celebrate!

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     Related Links:

    Interactive Wedding Reception Games

    Wedding Day Survival Kit

    Your Backyard Wedding

    Christmas Weddings

    Wedding Guest Favors

    Do It Yourself Favors

  3. We've all attended traditional wedding receptions where the guests welcome and celebrate the union of loved ones, join them in dance, and share cake with them. Today’s wedding couples are looking for creative ideas, such as games, which include guest participation. 

    Encouraging guest participation is a terrific way to get people up and out of their chairs, and mingling with others.  It makes them part of the wedding celebration, rather than casual observers. 

    One game that all your guests can participate in and enjoy is “Come on Down!”  For this game, you designate an MC.  If you already have a DJ, they can probably take on this role.  Before the reception, prepare a creative list of things that the participants might have.  For example, red shoes, bow tie, painted toenails, sewing kit, etc.  Don’t forget to list some things that will enable the children to participate.

    The MC will then announce an item from the list and tell those people to “Come on Down!”  For example, “Anyone wearing a bow tie, come on down!”  The first person in that category to reach the MC will win a point for their table. 

    Points are tallied throughout the course of the game and prizes are awarded at the end. Be sure to include some obvious items in the list, such as painted toenails, or a man with a striped tie, or a child with a white dress. To add interest to the game, don’t forget to add some surprise, such as a woman with a grey suit jacket.  In most cases, this will mean that the women will have to find a man at their table who’s wearing a grey suit, grab it, and run up to the front. 

    Another fun game that would include most of your guests is a new twist on an old game of musical chairs, where the men are the chairs. The men form a line and kneel on one knee.  The women circle the “chairs”, but when the music stops, they have to find a knee to sit on. Unlike the traditional game, no "chairs" are removed.  People are eliminated when either the man or woman loses their balance.  When this happens, both the man and woman are eliminated from the game.  This game is loads of fun and gets people mixing, mingling, and laughing.  Three things you definitely want for your wedding reception. 

    For guests that have traveled any distance to attend the wedding, or haven’t met many of the guests, it’s a good idea to include a game that will give them an opportunity to get to know each other, and perhaps get even better acquainted with the bride and groom. 

    Again, you’ll need an MC, which should have an outgoing nature.  The guests are separated into two groups, which can be done with a simple count off of 1, 2, 1, 2…until the entire group is assigned a number.  The two groups then form for the duration of the game.

    The MC asks a series of questions about the bride and groom. Working as teams, the guests answer the questions as quickly as possible.  The bride and groom then verify if the answer is correct or incorrect.  During the brainstorming process, the guests will get to know each other and share some laughs.  It's also a terrific way to get to know the bride and groom!

    If you’re not certain that games will fit in with your wedding reception, consider that weddings are celebrations.  They’re meant to be fun, social events.  Not everyone enjoys dancing, so games are another option to encourage more guest participation, and make them a part of the celebration.

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    Related Links:

    Event Planning How To: 8 Affordable Entertainment Tips for your Event

    Event Planning How To: 8 Steps to a Successful Event

    Your Backyard Wedding

    Christmas Weddings

    Eco Friendly Wedding Favors

  4. Feel secure, relaxed and confident on your wedding day with

    The Wedding Day Survival Kit.

    Most would agree that your wedding day is one of the most important days in your life so, there's no such thing as being too prepared. The Wedding Day Survival Kit is a simple but essential tool for any bride.

    The Maid of Honor has earned that title because she knows you inside and out, has seen you at your best and your worst, and stuck by you through thick and thin. She is the person to entrust with your Wedding Day Survival Kit, so she should be involved in putting it together. Two heads are better than one.

    Most of the things you'll want to have on hand will be in your makeup kit and medicine cabinet, so it's best if you get together at your home, where everything is handy. Remember, this kit is essentially your insurance, in the event of a minor mishap. There's no need to include large quantities of anything. It should all fit nicely inside the Maid of Honor's clutch purse. Also, don't be tempted to go out and buy travel sizes of everything. The travel sizes are actually much larger than you'll need and are far more expensive than buying the full size, which you already have on hand. You'll want to stick with tried and true products, as this is the one day you do not want to run the risk of having a bad reaction.

    Everyone's needs are different; but here are a few ideas to get you on the right track. It looks like a long list; however, these items are very small and actually form into a very compact kit.

    • Needles and thread - I actually prefer this to a sewing kit because you can choose the appropriate colors to have on hand. You don't need an entire spool of each color. You cut a small square of cardboard and cut a small diagonal slit in each of two corners opposite each other. Anchor one end of the thread in one of the slits, wrap it around the card until you have ample, slide the other end of the thread into the opposite slit to secure it in place. Assorted sewing needles typically come in a small package, so take the whole package along. You may need to have two people sewing at the same time.
    • Safety pins
    • Small folding scissors
    • Bandaids - If you don't have "invisible" on hand, you may want to run to the store for this.
    • Floss - This can also do double duty as a heavy duty thread, if need be.
    • Breath mints
    • Cotton swabs
    • Compact and/or other makeup, such as concealer, for touchups
    • Small, retractable makeup brushes
    • Hand sanitizer
    • Scent free hand lotion
    • Handkerchiefs - I prefer this to a disposable tissue because I believe the day warrants something special. Have 2 or 3 on hand. Your Maid of Honor   should have one in her hand for the ceremony so she can pass it to you discreetly. Many brides get emotional at the altar. Handkerchiefs are also excellent for blotting to reduce facial shine.
    • White medical tape - This can be useful in fixing a fallen hem or repairing a bouquet.
    • Medication - This is particularly important if the bride suffers from allergies, headaches, asthma, diabetes, etc.
    • Antacid - This can help to settle the butterflies.
    • Spare earrings
    • Hair pins or clips
    • Feminine products - Sometimes these things just happen
    • A Watch - You'll want to stay on schedule and most often the bride and her attendants choose not to wear a watch on that day.
    • Cell phone
    • Pen & Small Notepad
    • Pocket money
    • Etc.

    More often than not, brides tend to feel a bit anxious, as the big day approaches. Assembling your Wedding Survival Kit with your BFF is very therapeutic. You feel more at ease because you know you're prepared and you have someone to watch your back. Let your hair down and enjoy some quality bonding time with your BFF.

    For more wedding tips, see our Wedding Planning Links.

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